Steve and I are actually going to Las Vegas for a business convention. The only other time I was in Vegas was for a alcoholics Realtor convention seven years ago. I like Vegas-especially in the winter, because it's not Minnesota. We're enjoying a lovely freeze wave right now where it's a struggle to get out of the single digit temperatures each day. Iowa would probably be a welcome respite from this place in January.
While I do like Vegas, I don't love it. I can take about four days of it and then I want it to stop. The around the clock din of slot machines in the each of the hotels is a terrifying testament to desperation. I don't gamble so that eliminates a lot of entertainment options. If I ever have the urge to gaze upon bodacious tatas, I need look no further than the closest mirror(ooo, snap!), so that eliminates most of the other Vegas diversions.
I want a different Vegas experience this time around. The last time I was there I was newly single and spent most of my evening hours in a perpetual state of inebriation. It's amazing how much free alcohol there is in Vegas-and when you're a lightweight like me, it doesn't take much to get a buzz on. I had one good meal, at Emeril's Delmonico Steakhouse. It was sublime, and the service was everything I expected from a five star establishment. The rest of my meals were spent in buffets, facing troughs of shrimp cocktail and stacks of snow crab legs.
I looked to Anthony Bourdain for some culinary guidance for this trip. Last night, at the awful hour of eleven, the Travel Channel replayed his Las Vegas odyssey, so I fell asleep on the couch at eight and woke up three hours later so that I could catch his maiden voyage to Sin City. It was necessary research. I now know exactly where I want to dine during our escape from Snow City. It's still two weeks away, but I plan to diligently file updates while there. We'll be staying at The Luxor, which wouldn't have been my first choice, since it seems to have become THE hangout for the likes of a couple of hotel heiresses and other twenty something celebrity gadabouts, but it'll do.
Restaurants I plan to visit in Las Vegas:
- Emeril's New Orleans Fish House It wasn't one of the places Bourdain visited, in fact, he's been incredibly derisive when the topic of Emeril arises, but I am unapologetic in my love for this chef. There's nothing on the menu that doesn't sound delicious.
- Bouchon Bourdain said it was the best. I think he knows what he's talking about.
- The buffet at The Wynn If I must do a buffet, this one sounds the best. Sixteen live-action cooking stations, people!
- Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill Love Bobby. Everything looks good. I have a hunch I can get a good Margarita there, too.
Do you know which celebrity foodie I do not want to tour restaurants with? My homeboy-Andrew Zimmern. I get that the point of his Travel Channel show, Bizarre Foods, is to open our small minds to a world of culinary possibilities. He seems like a really nice guy, and I'm bound to run into him someday around town. But sir, please talk to the soundboard editor who works your show. It's enough that I have to watch you take obvious delight in ingesting eyeballs and testicles and brains, but GOD, the sound of your lips smacking and crunching through the skulls of small animals, it's too much. Ish.
