I underwent a procedure yesterday that was supposed to terminate my fertility. This is the second time that I've attempted to have this outpatient surgery done, and unfortunately the second time that it's been unsuccessful. Apparently, I have a polyp blocking the entry to my left fallopian tube. I'll have to undergo the normal surgical tubal ligation instead, and as long as my doctor is in the area, she's going to do a D&C and remove the polyp and biopsy it. Good times.
Prior to having the tubal ligation done on Thursday next week, I'm required to complete an essay that convincingly displays my comprehension of the finality of the procedure. I asked my doctor if we could just attach a copy of the Explanation of Benefits from each of the TWO Essure procedures I'd endured and call it good. Really, doesn't that prove my dedication and commitment to getting "fixed?" She laughed politely, but looked sheepish and said it was a requirement. I looked at her dumbfounded. Let me get this straight, I have to list the names and ages of my kids and my husband, wax eloquently about why I feel I've fulfilled my contribution to the gene pool, explain that I'd like to stop having to worry about an "oops" pregnancy as I hurtle toward my 40th birthday and that I really don't want to have to rely on condoms and birth control pills anymore, AND have my husband also sign off on it-as if I NEED his permission? I'm calling bullshit on this.
So, if I refuse to engage in this exercise, what happens? Will they refuse to perform the surgery? I feel my inner teenager screaming to be released on society again. I want to be defiant and rebel against the idiocy of a medical establishment that appears to be lack even a shred of common sense. I was going to pen the snarkiest reply that I could muster, but now I'm tempted to just type in the URL for this website and advise them that the answers they're looking for are right there.
(I was going to add, isn't four kids enough? Clearly, though, it's not. Thanks for the heads up, Lori!)
(If you find this site doing a Google search for the Essure procedure, I would absolutely endorse it. I found it to be only mildly uncomfortable-let's face it, I went back for seconds-and my doctor told me I was the ideal patient, if not for the unfortunate placement of the polyp. So if you're considering it, I think it's a wonderful alternative.)